The Greatest Tweets of Son Rivers: #1928

so much depends upon a red silence glazed with stillness beside the white emptiness. (apologies to w.c. williams)

Controlling Interest in a Poem

Finding Control

I tried to keep things in control
but came to see control was something
quite beyond my own control:
I found my life was under control,
some great control, some infinite
control, some all-controlling prime
control in charge of things beyond
even the concept of control.
And seeing this, I lost control—
until I grasped I never had
control—and then surrendered non-
control and rested in the flow
of one immaculate controller.

~Son Rivers 2009

Imaginary Ansel Adams Yosemite Poem

Now Yosemite

So Ansel, what’s your version of reality?
He smiled at me and said, it’s not so black and white.
The Mercer River ran rapidly before us;
in the distance rose the absolutely sheer
facade of Half Dome like a ghost-blue apparition
in the morning light. Well take Yosemite,
I said. Does all of this, I slowly waved my hand
encompassing the valley and its looming granite
walls, have rock-hard meaning in your estimation?
Everything we comprehend is part of a pattern
we’ve interpreted as something separate, he answered.
Then he took his picture. There it is; it’s hanging
on that wall. I’ve looked at it for fifty years
and every day it seems to be quite different than
the day before. Right now, it looks to be
an emptiness surrounded by a manifest
awareness of our all-encompassing pure love.

~Son Rivers 2009

Waiting and Waiting On a Poem

Not I

After realization that
the person who I thought I was
is just a simple fabrication
manufactured through the process
of a socially-derived
conditioning and every action
taken is a meaningless
distraction always rising from
an undercurrent fearing such
a fabrication actually
is void of true existence, I
have stopped existing as that person
in its strictest essence (while
its outer personality
remains its running on as if
not empty), waiting (sometimes not
so patiently because that outer
personality attempts
a resurrection through its unreal
tool of thought) and waiting for
That Spirit, Being, Life to move
me like a weed in love with every
drop of rain and ray of sun
increasing in the form of one.

~Son Rivers 2009

The Greatest Tweets of Son Rivers: #1882

Everything I do is just a meaningless distraction from the overwhelming truth arising from this singular monotony: I really don’t exist.

The Greatest Tweets of Son Rivers: #1876

A madman looking through my eyes is seeing nothing but a world he has created out of nothing but a little light and space and time. Voila!

The Greatest Tweets of Son Rivers: #1875

Sharp-edged fiery moon sets like a slash in the sky leading to a tender stark reality burning not only these words away but my self as well.

A Poem for Willa Cather, Anasazi, and Reality

Apparently in Mesa Verde

It was Mesa Verde; I was leading Willa
Cather’s expedition down the path to Cliff House.
Fiction has this way of sticking to my mind,
competing with the story I’ve created there
already. This time though I knew I went too far.
I told them categorically I was Anasazi!
Welcome to my kiva. Suddenly all sorts
of characters and plots were disappearing. Patterns
changed their set vibrations. All became as one
and I was left for dead among the waves of sandstone
intertwined with particles of pinon pine.
And that’s where this reality has drawn the line.

~Son Rivers 2009

The Greatest Tweets of Son Rivers: #1861

I am the hint of a glint of sun brightening a mighty shroud of clouds with the everlasting truth of blue and what has always been begotten.

The Greatest Tweets of Son Rivers: #1858

I am the wind and the rain and the leaves lifting the branches in swaying dances and the rushing sound of it all collapsing into silence.

Manifestly That

That River

Debris is flowing up the river with the tide and I am that.
A fish is jumping sudden making ripples on the surface;
I am that. A sea gull shits, it lands upon a motor boat
and I am that. Across the river, eastern pines are dark and silent;
I am that. I sip the last drops of my coffee and I’m manifestly that.

~Son Rivers 2009

Gary Snyder, Poetry, and Zen

Some quotes I like (although I may not necessarily agree) from Just One Breath: The Practice of Poetry and Meditation by Gary Snyder

In 1966, just before Oda Roshi died, I had a talk with him in the hospital. I said, "Roshi! So it's Zen is serious, poetry is not serious." He said "No, no—poetry is serious! Zen is not serious."
***
Poetry is a way of celebrating the actuality of a nondual universe in all its facets. Its risk is that it declines to exclude demons.
***
Poetry is how language experiences itself. It's not that the deepest spiritual insights cannot be expressed in words (they can, in fact) but that words cannot be expressed in words.
***
Therefore the ultimate subject matter of a "mystical" Buddhist poetry is profoundly ordinary... (The really fine poems are maybe the invisible ones, that show no special insight, no remarkable beauty. But no one has ever really written a great poem that had perfectly no insight, instructive unfolding, syntactic deliciousness—it is only a distant ideal.)

The Greatest Tweets of Son Rivers: #1853 & 1854

No matter how I try to convince it otherwise, life really doesn’t give two cents about the things I think.

A penny for your thoughts?

A Motivational Poem

The Clock Strikes One

My mind is like a clock
ticking and tocking and always
hickory dickory docking—

but not a mouse is running
underneath the sunning
sky. Don’t ask me why

that is; that is until—
that isn’t. Then, it will.

~Son Rivers 2009

The Greatest Tweets of Son Rivers: #1843

The duality of art: Entertainment escapes self; Truth discovers Self.

The Greatest Tweets of Son Rivers: #1842

Underneath all the battle scars earned in our wars of identity lies the innocent baby face of Being. Kootchy-kootchy-koo!

Outrageous Fortune

Hamlet II: Not To Be or Not to Be

Not that there is nothing
to do, but there is nothing
one can think to do:
that’s the only question
I’ve stopped asking now.

~Son Rivers 2009

The Finger Pointing Towards the Future

The following is a re-arranged version of the notes I took and blogged previously from Adyashanti's radio program of 01Jul09. For me, they represent brilliant pointers for this phase of my life. Accordingly, I've attempted to give them a somewhat chronological feel.

Unplugged
You can unplug from an old belief system (spontaneously), but doesn’t necessarily mean you will plug into the One, what is relevant to Spirit.

No Motivation
Egoic structure begins to lose itself. Motivation disappears. Plateau phase. No new motivation at this point. (Be a wise steward of your life at this phase.)

Not Knowing
Not knowing is not a final thing. Not knowing becomes the ground from which you move. Don’t get attached to it though. (From silence comes a flow, an action.)

Awareness
The only way is to be more aware. Not for me (ego) to try to be more aware. But to be your true self, awareness itself. Don’t turn it into the future. Come into the true and right perspective of things.

Peace
There is always a current of peace running through all conflict, and that is Conscious Spirit.

Being
Experience the state of Being while in the situation you’re in, even though your mind wants something else. Stop and feel it. Really feel it. Fifteen minutes. Longer. Go nuts and feel it all along. Rich experience of Being.

Expression
Life’s inherent tendency is to express itself. Life is for the living of it. What is it life wants to do? Don’t answer the question. Live with the question. Really listen. Invite life to show it to you. Be patient. It will show you on its own time frame. Don’t think about it. But how does life want you to engage. It could be anything. As simple or as big as it wants to be. (But already, life is expressing itself through you.)

Calling
Often comes not from the inside (sometimes it does), but from the outside, a call. Paying attention to how life is calling you all the time. From the outside. Pay attention to how life is inviting you.

Energy
Then what comes is an energy that begins to arise out of existence, life, the One. An impersonal energy moves through you. Connected with the totality of life, and not connected to the individual.

Abundance
Action not towards abundance, but action coming out of inner abundance! That inner state of well-being.

A Trimiter Sonnet on Reality and Mind

Trinity Sonnet

There is reality
and then there is my mind,
always interpreting
reality as from
afar and through a fog;
the mind would burn that fog
except it is the fog,
and when it burns the fog
away, it burns itself
away, discovering
reality is burning
it away, and burning
is reality,
and I am burning.


~Son Rivers 2009

Adyashanti’s 01Jul09 Radio: Life Expresses Itself

1. Responding from ‘No Problem’
Seeing there is ‘no problem’ in any situation comes from Conscious Spirit and not the mind. This is not to say that one stays in any situation. Accordingly, a freedom to respond will arrive from such a seeing. And the response comes through the Spirit and not the mind. Thought will never lead to a response, but can be utilized in execution of the response.

2. Filling the Gap with Consciousness
The wheel of samsara is one of belief and emotion and experience, in which an emotion confirms a belief because it is caused by that belief, and experience confirms the belief because it is filtered by the mind in order to confirm that belief. And so on, and so on. The practice of self-inquiry is not one of thought, although it may begin there, but it is a practice to create a gap in thought, in order to allow Conscious Spirit to fill that gap.

3. Current of Peace
There is always a current of peace running through all conflict, and that is Conscious Spirit. [Sat-Chit-Ananda.]

4. True Perspective
The only way to be more aware. Not for me (ego) to try to be more aware. But to be your true self, awareness itself. Don’t turn it into the future. Come into the true and right perspective of things.

5. Motivation
If I let go completely, what’s going to move me. Egoic structure begins to lose itself. Motivation disappears. Plateau phase. No new motivation at this point. Then what comes an energy that begins to arise out of existence, life, the one. An impersonal energy move through you. Connected with the totality of life, and not connected to the individual. (Be a wise steward of your life at this phase.)

6. Not Knowing is the Ground for Action
You can unplug from an old belief system (spontaneously), but doesn’t necessarily mean you will plug into the One, what is relevant to Spirit. Not knowing is not a final thing. Not knowing becomes the ground from which you move. Don’t get attached to it. (The mind is meanwhile a soundtrack.) From silence comes a flow, an action. (Most people so disconnected to life, listen to the mind itself.) Silence, stillness, in action. (The truth, the action, is always there; no need to go seeking it.)

7. The Moment of Truth
Truth is only relevant for the moment. It can be only found in the moment. No ultimate truth that you can hold on forever. Always renewing itself. Always there but always renewing itself. As soon as you grab it, it dies.

8. Experience Being Now
(Don’t apply for a job you don’t enjoy.) Experience the state of Being while in the situation you’re in, even though your mind wants something else. Stop and feel it. Really feel it. Fifteen minutes. Longer. Go nuts and feel it all along. Rich experience of Being. It opens up your perception. That peace that you would think you would get when you achieve a goal is right here right now. Some won’t allow themselves to feel the satisfaction of Being thinking it will stop them from achieving some goal and experiencing it then. If not allowing themselves to experience the richness now, won’t experience it when they reach their goal either. (Relieved from the burden of wanting. The happiness we experience when we get something we wanted is that short period of time when we don’t want anything. But that never lasts.) Action not towards abundance, but action coming out of inner abundance! That inner state of well-being. Most often it’s the pursuit of happiness rather than actions as an expression of inner happiness and peace. Answers come from Being, an expression of Being.

9. The Expression of Life
Life’s inherent tendency is to express itself. Could be coming from the egoic me expressing itself. Or come from life expressing itself. Life is for the living of it. What is it life wants to do? Don’t answer the question. Live with the question. Really listen. Invite life to show it to you. Be patient. It will show you on its own time frame. Don’t think about it. How does life want you to engage. It could be anything. As simple or as big as it wants to be. The paradox. You are life and your the life it wishes to express itself. But already, life is expressing itself through you. (unconscious (egoic); now be conscious.) Often comes not from the inside (sometimes it does), but from the outside, a call. Paying attention to how life is calling you all the time. From the outside. Pay attention to how life is inviting you.

10. Unity, Love, Fullness
How to express unity rather than division, express love rather than seek it, express fullness rather than seek it.

(Note: I heard a woman mention this radio program at last Saturday's satsang. She spoke of Adya's speaking to inviting life to show you what it wants you to do. This is especially relevant in my current situation (as it is in any situation for that matter). So I downloaded it today. These are the notes I took as I was listening.)

monarch butterfly poem

Present Progressive

Before a wall of dark green trees
a monarch butterfly
is fluttering.

APF-8 still small voice

Another snippet. He mentioned how some would tell him they didn’t know how to act in the dualistic world any more, that they didn’t even know what to say to people. He answered, say less. He commented that this is natural. That what went into your life previously often was no longer applicable. The dream had been seen through. But it didn’t mean that nothing mattered. Not like some in some non-dual circles would say. Instead, “Nothing matters. Everything matters.” It was the paradox of the manifest world. So now, rather than listening to the brain try to figure things out, just listen to the still small voice within. Intuition will tell. There will not be reasons and justifications. That is the ego speaking. Rather there will be a knowing.

Spiritual Advice from Patrul Rinpoche

Haven’t you noticed what always happens?
An old bull, once you’ve gone to the trouble of borrowing him for his services,
Seems to have absolutely no desire left in him at all—
(Except to go back to sleep).

Be like that—desireless.

Just sleep, eat, piss, shit.
There’s nothing else in life that has to be done.

Don’t get involved with other things:
They’re not the point.

Keep a low profile,
Sleep.

In the triple universe
When you’re lower than your company
You should take the low seat.

Should you happen to be the superior one,
Don’t get arrogant.

There’s no absolute need to have close friends;
You’re better off just keeping to yourself.

When you’re without any worldly or religious obligations,
Don’t keep on longing to acquire some!

If you let go of everything—
Everything, everything—
That’s the real point!

~from Patrul Rinpoche (1808-1887) 'Advice from Me to Myself'

APF-7: On Curiosity

One thing I wished to remember specifically was his comments on curiosity. When confronted with trying to figure out finally how does one balance awakening with living in the dualistic world, he said rather than bring an adult heaviness and seriousness to the query, why not bring a wide-eyed curiosity. How does this work? Isn’t it interesting? Have some fun with it!

This resonates with me in one way because all my life I have tried to figure out the world. Whether it was studying literature or history, or working out the politics of work, I tried to figure the world out. In therapy, it had been discovered that I was someone whose mother was afraid of the world, and whose father never taught the working of that world. So in many ways, I had been attempting to work past the fear to that knowledge. In so doing, awakening had emerged. So why not continue now in the knowledge that fear was just another false belief. Be curious! Enjoy.

APF-6: Speechless

Now is when my memory fades to the exact chronology of the satsang, and so will need to speak to snippets of memory that linger. But I can say that at this point, I was in somewhat of a rapture, in which Adya’s words were being spoken directly to my inner being. Even tears would come at times. And now, a few days later, I still feel somewhat speechless as to the essence of the day. It was deeper than any words can relate. Nevertheless.

APF-5: Relative Awakening

He then began to speak to the relative nature of awakening in a dualistic world, that although the initial ‘experience’ may last a day, a month, a year, or more, sooner or later we return to manifest reality. Unless we are one of the five or so masters that exist at any given time. I very much appreciate this non-absolute take on awakening. Adya then used the analogy of the honeymoon. Sooner or later, the couple returns to reality. And that’s when the fun begins. Exactly, I reflected. This was exactly what I had been dealing with the past year.

He then went on to say the adjustment to awakening may involve a depth of true understanding that ripens with time. He began to use percentages of 10 to 90, but then admitted using percentages was ridiculous. As to time it may take to adjust, he said it differs of course, but on average he estimated it could take 10-15 years. (I tapped Beverly and rolled my eyes in order to say that’s a long time to a 56-year old!)

APF-4: Words

This was the perspective I was bringing. From that perspective, I had reached an understanding of being and how it acts in the manifest world. One year had passed in this latest understanding. And now this process was being culminated in this satsang with Adyashanti, something I had wanted to witness last July when I was out west, but something that was happening instead almost one year to that time. To me, it appeared Spirit was in action. This is what I saw.

And back to Adya. The satsang began with a half-hour of silence, in which I practiced self-inquiry. When Adya began to speak, he began with saying that silence was the best teaching, and now we would weaken that with hours of words. Indeed. But what words!

APF-3: The Four Guides

Those Guides are as follows: surrender thought-belief, including that of the doer, to Spirit-Being-Self; in worship, witness, and pay attention to intuition, inspiration, and all signs; guide in sacrificial action so that the loving means will be the living end; know mystery in the koan of self-inquiry to reach the heart of Spirit-Being-Self. One can sum these up in short: surrender; witness; sacrifice; self-inquire. Interestingly enough, one can assign the four yogas of the Gita to each: raja; bhakti; karma; jnana.

APF - Two

First a little about my relative perspective. Spirit has awakened to the nature of itself, but still I act in a dualistic world, with many lapses into that world. Last year, I was laid off from my job, and this past year has been dedicated to working out what it exactly means to live ‘in the world but not of the world.’ In so doing I worked out four directives that summed up such a paradox. These Four Guides were distilled from my reading since 2006, and includes such people as Miguel Ruiz, Eckhart Tolle, Anthony DeMello, Adyashanti, Gangaji, Robert Adams, Ramana Maharshi, Jed McKenna, Sailor Bob, david carse, The Upanishads, The Bhagavad Gita (and commentaries from Gandhi, Ram Dass, Satchinanda, Alan Jacobs, & Aurobindo).

Adyashanti Philadelphia Freedom One

This Saturday Beverly and I attended an intensive satsang given by Adyashanti in a suburb of Philadelphia. This document is a review of that day from my point of view. I am sure many who were there felt Adya was talking directly to them, directly to their experience. I know I absolutely did. And of course he was—in the absolute. There is "no difference" among us, as he would say. And of course there isn’t. But this document is written from the perspective of the relative. From the absolute, there is nothing to say.

Awakurious

Awakurious: being curious in awakening